I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize