Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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