i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
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