So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
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