Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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