I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
