I'm lost and stupid without you.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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