she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
