Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize