We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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