Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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