Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
