you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Randomize
