Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Randomize
