so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Randomize
