The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
