Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Randomize
