shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
