I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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