just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
