I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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