I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
