According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Randomize
