i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
