She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
