Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
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