I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
My penis needs a shock collar
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
