There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
