did you get engaged???
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
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