She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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