My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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