reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I licked your asshole in confidence.
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