well I can't set my house on fire every night
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Randomize