i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
