That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
