The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
where are my pants?
in the oven.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
