Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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