next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Randomize
