All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
