In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
