so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
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