atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
There's always time for handjobs
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Shame is for Republicans.
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