my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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