I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
