We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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