I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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