There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Someone shattered a urinal.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
