if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
How drunk are you?
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