Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
