so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize