when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
