I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize
