you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I AM VODKA MAN
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
