I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Randomize
