Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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