So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
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