two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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