I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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