You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
