So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
